Fixing the Foundation: Why Healthy Marriages Build Healthy Societies
Recently, our home’s air conditioning stopped working, and it was amazing how urgently our family began to miss something we normally take for granted. Everything within our home was reordered; I should say, disordered. Sleep at night, meals together, mundane tasks, routine conversations—when the air conditioning system failed, the family system did as well. Air conditioning is one of those things in life where its importance is felt in its absence.
At the beginning of humanity’s story is a taken for granted institution, “A man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.” Before we built cities and societies, created industry and technology, established governments and academics—before we did anything, we did marriage.
Matrimony as creation’s inaugural institution speaks to its foundational role within God’s created order. It is not merely a private arrangement for the enjoyment of husband and wife; it is a public blessing for the common good of creation. How so? Marriage vows create a covenantal society we refer to as the family. And this smaller family society provides a safe and loving environment wherein the next generation of greater society is developed, disciplined, and discipled. Those who fill and build our economies and industries, science and technology, arts and entertainment, education and legislation—every member of a flourishing society was first conceived and nurtured within the family society.
At least, that is God’s design. And when the design is properly functioning, we take its significance for granted. But like my broken air conditioning disrupted every aspect of life within our home, when the design of marriage begins to falter, the atmosphere of society feels the impact as we collectively suffer through a heatwave of social consequences.
Social research continually reaffirms what Scripture divinely establishes: marriage and family are the foundation of a flourishing society. Tragically, that research conclusion is increasingly demonstrated via negative outcomes. Meaning, we are discovering the indispensable significance of marriage primarily because of the breakdown of marriage. Again, just as the value of my air conditioning was felt in its absence, so too, the value of matrimony is revealed in its decline.
American marriage rates peaked in the 1920s. Now, a century later, American marriages are at an all-time low. And alongside this steady collapse of American matrimony, we also observe the erosion of American culture. Nearly every key indicator of societal health—education, safety, poverty, addiction, physical and mental wellness, religious participation—the most common measures of a flourishing society are not measuring well, some reaching levels of cultural crisis.
Correlation does not necessarily mean causation. Certainly, there are other contributing factors to America’s societal ills, such as the proliferation of technology. That said, social research has reached a consensus: the breakdown of marriage has been established as the most significant causation. Children without married parents are five times more likely to live in poverty, twice as likely to drop out of high school, exhibit higher rates of anxiety, depression, and self-harm, are more prone toward sexual promiscuity and substance addiction, and are disproportionately represented among the criminally incarcerated.
From both a theological and sociological standpoint, this is the established fact: As marriage goes, so goes the family—and as the family goes, so goes society. When husband and wife realize that their marriage has implications that extend way beyond their own personal happiness, it only heightens the urgency to cultivate a thriving marriage. Meaning, if it just impacted spouses, then I suppose marriage health would be akin to physical health. Something you know you should prioritize, something you know you will suffer if you don’t prioritize, but still, something that amid endless concerns is easy not to prioritize. But if marriage is not just about you, but about the health of children and grandchildren, neighbors and community, indeed, the very future of society, then suddenly it becomes a priority above all else.
Unsurprisingly, our air conditioning failed during one of the busiest family weekends of the year. We had a track meet, soccer game, two basketball games, and studies for school finals and papers. However, fixing the air conditioning immediately got moved to the top of the list. How could it not? Yes, we had a lot to do, but all that we had to do was negatively impacted by the blazing heat of our home.
If indeed your marriage health is not just one thing among many things, but instead, the very thing that extends out to the entire life of society, then my encouragement is to put your marriage at the top of your urgency list. The problem, however, is that spouses feel as incapable at fixing their marriage as I did at fixing my air conditioning. I didn’t even know where to start, so I called the experts who came to my home and fixed it for me. But where do husband and wife turn to heal their marriage?
Ironically, though flourishing marriages are proven to be necessary to a flourishing society, our society is woefully deficient in helping marriages flourish. Instead, we invest countless resources into addressing the social symptoms of the broken marriage epidemic—poverty, addiction, crime, and so forth. The negative fruit gets all the attention, all while we continue to neglect the cancerous root.
This is the social dilemma FP Foundation is seeking to address. Into a culture suffering the effects of failed marriages, comes a foundation committed to the urgency of the foundational crisis. FP Foundation “Exists to help couples build thriving marriages, whether they’re in year one or fifty-one.” If the statement ended there it would be a noble cause, but not necessarily an urgent and ultimate cause. But the statement continues, “In doing so, we’ll see children, families, and communities thrive.” In this way, FP Foundation was created, for the good of spouses and the greater good of society.
We believe in the significance of your marriage health, we are committed to helping you develop marriage health, but the question is whether you view your marriage health with the same urgency. If it were just about you, then perhaps it’s not as urgent. But the point is–it’s not just about you. Your marriage impacts the entire atmosphere of your family, community, and even society. Bump it to the top of your list, and FP Foundation is here to help.
Written by Robert Cunningham
