A Step-By-Step Guide to New Year Planning for Couples
Written by: Marina Shelton
A new year always brings opportunities for change and growth. But many of us approach resolutions individually—focusing on what I want to accomplish instead of what we want to build together. Sitting down with your spouse to pray and plan for the year ahead can transform your teamwork, deepen unity, and set intentional rhythms for your home.
Why setting goals together matters:
Without a clear target, our actions often lack discipline and direction.
Working toward shared goals builds trust and common interest.
Verbalizing the change we want to see strengthens communication and unity.
Start by setting a specific time and place for this conversation. Depending on your season, this could look like a hotel overnight, weaving discussion into an already-planned getaway, or reserving an extended date night. December or early January works well, but if the holidays are too full, choose another time of year that best serves your marriage.
Once you’re together, walk through the following categories and questions to help you think strategically and prayerfully: spiritual health, marital health, parenting, schedule, finances, home projects, and family values.
Spiritual Health
This category is often overlooked but is the most important as you set the trajectory for your year. Share honestly with your spouse where you’d like to grow personally and as a family. Two great resources to get you started in this area are The Pursuit of Change and Holy Habits.
Questions to Ask:
How are our personal times with God? What spiritual disciplines or studies do we want to pursue?
What does family worship look like, and how could we strengthen it?
How can we lovingly hold one another accountable for areas of struggle?
Who are we discipling right now, and how can we support one another in that?
How can we build prayer into our weekly rhythms and decisions?
Marital Health
Couples rarely take time to reflect on the health of their relationship. This portion of goal setting allows each spouse to express their perspective on communication, conflict resolution, and romance.
Questions to Ask:
How is our communication? What helps me feel seen and heard?
Are we resolving conflict in healthy ways? What could improve?
What is bringing unnecessary stress into our marriage, and how can we lighten it?
Are our date nights consistent and meaningful?
Are we pursuing one another romantically? How could we grow in this?
How is our intimacy, and is there anything we need to address?
What overnight getaway could we plan this year?
Are there hobbies we want to explore together?
Parenthood
Parenting adds beautiful complexity to marriage. Evaluate how your family rhythms are shaping your children’s hearts and your home life.
Questions to Ask:
Are we getting enough intentional time as a family and with each child individually?
Is our childcare/schooling situation helping our kids thrive?
Where are our children struggling, and how can we support them?
Where are they thriving, and how can we encourage their interests?
Are we managing extracurriculars well, or do we need limits?
Are our discipline strategies effective for each child?
Where are our children spiritually, and what conversations do we want to pursue?
Schedule
Many couples don’t realize how much of married life becomes logistics. Assess your time so you can build rhythms that support your shared goals.
Questions to Ask:
What are our current commitments? Do any need to shift or be removed next year?
When does our schedule typically become stressful, and how can we prepare?
What trips or vacations do we want to plan?
What celebrations (birthdays, anniversaries, milestones) do we want to prioritize?
How can we help each other have a more manageable weekly pace?
Finances
Money is a frequent source of tension in marriage. Clear communication and shared goals create unity in this area.
Questions to Ask:
How did we steward our finances last year? What goals do we want to set?
How much did we give last year? How can we prayerfully consider giving more?
Where did we struggle financially, and how can we address it?
Are there frustrations we need to discuss about how money is handled?
What big expenses are coming, and how can we prepare?
Home Projects
Your home is the backdrop of your family life. Clarifying responsibilities creates peace and teamwork.
Questions to Ask:
How is our current division of labor? Does anything need to shift?
How can our kids participate more through age-appropriate chores?
What large home projects or repairs are coming up, and how will we plan for them?
Who would we like to host
Family Values
The idea of “family values” isn’t new, but it’s unknown to many. It’s the intentional selection of key values you, your spouse, and your children will focus on for a set period of time. These values are selected prayerfully and are often Scripture-based (i.e. humility, generosity, kindness). Behaviors that match these values are rewarded with the goal of building them into each person’s larger character.
Questions to Ask:
Which 3–5 values do we want to focus on this year?
How will we talk about these values routinely?
How will we recognize behaviors that reflect them?
After walking through each category, you’ll likely have more notes than you expected—and that’s okay. The goal isn’t perfection but clarity.
Prayerfully choose 1–2 goals per category. Use the S.M.A.R.T. framework (specific, measurable, attainable, realistic and timely) to make them specific and actionable. Write them down (or turn them into a Canva graphic) and keep them somewhere visible as a reminder of what you’re working toward together.
There’s nothing magical about setting goals—but intentional, prayerful planning creates space for growth. Change doesn’t happen by accident. With God’s help, small steps taken together can reap a beautiful harvest in your marriage and home.
