The Bible’s Model for Love and Marriage
Written by Mark Randle
The Bible has so much to say about love and commitment. The chief expression of true love is found in the person of Jesus Christ and His love for the Church. He modeled for the world what sacrificial love looks like by giving Himself up for those He loves. In the Scriptures—His love letter to His people—Jesus gives us a pattern for what a healthy and godly marriage should be.
God’s Design from the Beginning
A model for marriage appears at the very beginning of the Bible. In Genesis 2, before sin entered the world and brought the brokenness we now experience, the Lord declared, “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” (Genesis 2:24)
This same command is repeated by Jesus in the Gospels and by the Apostle Paul in Ephesians, reminding us that this is no mere cultural suggestion—it’s God’s timeless design for every marriage.
So, what does it mean to leave and to cleave? And is this an impossible command?
Leave
To “leave” does not mean to abandon our parents, but to establish a new set of priorities. Our primary human relationship changes when we marry.
Emotional dependence on parents now shifts toward our spouse.
Decisions are no longer made by parents but by the couple together.
The marriage becomes a new, independent family unit.
A great way to honor your parents is to “leave” them by loving your spouse! Many mistakes occur in marriage when a spouse tries to please his or her spouse, while simultaneously hoping to maintain the same relationship with their parents. Indeed, in marriage we are called to “leave” our old way of life and enter into this new relationship.
Cleave
To “cleave” means to cling, to hold fast, to remain steadfast.
It implies commitment—one not based on feelings or circumstances, but on a covenant promise before God.
It calls for unity—spiritually, emotionally, and physically.
It is a daily choice to walk in love, grace, and forgiveness, just as Christ loves and forgives His Church.
Cleave takes place when a husband and wife are committed to each other - no matter what problems they face. And, in this fallen world, there is no limit to potential problems!
Is This an Impossible Command?
Not if we build on the right foundation. Jesus never gives a command without also providing the strength and example to live it out.
“Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her.” — Ephesians 5:25
This kind of love is not natural—it’s supernatural. It requires the work of the Holy Spirit, a heart rooted in Christ, and a willingness to die to self.
The Key to a Successful Marriage
The true key is Christ at the center. When both husband and wife are committed first to the Lord, they are empowered to love one another sacrificially, selflessly, and steadfastly.
It’s not about our perfection, but about His.
It’s not about keeping score, but about loving each other.
It’s not about being right, it is about ongoing repentance and trust.
Marriage is one of God’s greatest tools to shape us into the image of Christ. Through it, He teaches us grace, humility, patience, and love that endures.
When Christ is your foundation, your marriage will not only survive the storms of life—it will thrive as a reflection of His covenant love for His people.
